Calm Your Stress with These 4 Powerful Breathing Techniques

Did you know that slowing your breathing helps you calm down, and that taking a few minutes to do breathing exercises can help relax your mind and body, making it easier to cope with stress and anxiety? 

In fact, it’s almost futile to try to put mindset or focusing techniques into practice when your nervous system is dysregulated. It’s like putting whip cream on poop and expecting it to taste good — pardon the metaphor! Basically, you just cannot ignore or override a dysregulated nervous system!  (To learn more about your nervous system, click here.)

It’s scientifically proven that breathing not only helps us calm down in a moment when we’re activated, but also makes it easier to access and use what we’ve learned. 

For example, if you have a presentation or exam coming up, doing one of these breathing techniques will help you think and access the information more clearly.  (To learn more about the physical symptoms of stress and anxiety, click here.)

We also know that continued shallow breathing can actually do the opposite, keeping our bodies in a cycle of stress and affecting everything from our mental to physical health. When we are stressed, we tend to close down in a number of ways and, while this can feel protective, it often deprives us of needed emotional, cognitive and physical resources. It can even make us more likely to get sick.

Here are four simple breathing exercises you can do to relieve stress anywhere and anytime. Try using them daily, whether you are clearly feeling stressed or not. If you practice them as a maintenance practice, it will be easier and more efficient for your body to acclimate right away. You can also use any of these breathing techniques whenever you feel impatient or frustrated (like waiting in line), or in moments when you feel uptight, overwhelmed, stressed, or anxious. For more information about what “self care” means, click here.”

Box Breathing

This exercise is a classic. You can do it while sitting or lying down. 

1. Exhale all the air from your lungs while counting to four.

2. Hold for a count of four, keeping your lungs completely empty.

3. Inhale a deep, full breath for a count of four.

4. Keep your lungs full for a count of four.

Repeat for at least 4 rounds but reduce or rest if you feel light-headed.

4-2-6-2 Breathing

This is as an effective way to calm the sympathetic (fight + flight) nervous system response and activate your parasympathetic (rest + digest) nervous system when you feel activated or stressed. Sometimes I do this one when I’m with people who I feel tension around and and they don’t even know I’m doing it. It really helps!

1. Breathe in for a count of 4

2. Hold for a count of 2

3. Breathe out for a count of 6

4. Hold for a count of 2

Repeat 5X. 

Next, 

1. Breathe in for a count of 4

2. Hold for a count of 2

3. Breathe out for a count of 8

4. Hold for a count of 2

Repeat 5X.

You’ll find it becomes easy to keep adding 2 counts to each exhale after 5 repetitions of each set.

Relaxing NADA Yoga Breathing

Sit in a comfortable position. Your eyes can be open or closed.

1. Close your mouth and inhale through your nose for 4 counts.

2. Hold your breath for 2 counts.

3. With your mouth closed, “Hummmmm” for as long as it takes you to empty your lungs. This makes a buzzing sound that sounds like a bee. This will vibrate in your chest, throat and head.

4. Hold for 2 counts, and repeat steps 1-3 six times.

Falling Out Breath

I actually found this one on the Noom app and really like it for helping to release physical tension from my body.

1. Take a deep breath in, filling your lungs as much as possible.

2. At the top of your breath, take one more sip of air.

3. Exhale with a big, out-loud sigh (“HHHAAAAA”) as you release the air.

Do this for 1-2 minutes.

Grab your sample FREE audio lesson that is designed to calm your nervous system and physically release the tight muscles in your neck, back and shoulders.

4 Handy Steps to Help You Practice Self Empathy

Self-empathy, or being capable of having empathy for yourself, helps you calm yourself during conflict or when you’re feeling stressed, angry, frustrated, anxious, afraid and other strong emotions. 

Self-empathy also helps you get clear about your needs and the needs of others so that you can make choices and decisions that support harmony, cooperation and connection.

According to Marshall Rosenberg Phd, author of “Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life,” in order to have self empathy, the following 4 steps will help you connect to your own self empathy:

1. The awareness that you need self empathy in a given moment.

Your amygdala is activated and shifting you into the fight/flight/freeze state of your nervous system — therefore, the first step is to actually learn to become aware that you’re entering this state.

Your amygdala is activated when you:

• Have tension, constriction or unpleasant sensations in your face, jaw, neck, chest or stomach.

• You have thoughts that are judgmental, angry, fearful, blaming, critical or demanding.

• You react and do or say things that lead to conflict and disconnection, rather than being able to respond in ways that lead to connection.

2. The willingness and time to go inward and observe your mind and body with compassion and presence.

What emotions are you feeling? Where do you feel this in your body? Many people feel emotions like stress, anxiety, frustration, anger as contractions in their jaw or abdomen, some feel a tightening in their throats or pain in their backs. At first this feels impossible to tease apart. So the two questions we can ask ourselves to begin with is: what am I feeling and where do I feel this in my physical body?

3. The ability to name sensations, emotions, and needs and distinguish them from the thoughts, stories, interpretations, and strategies or expectations.

So many of us don’t differentiate an emotion from a thought or story we tell ourselves about another person or situation. A feeling is different than a sensation. A feeling or emotion is different from a thought or the story of something that happened.

4. The time and willingness to stay with your sensations, feelings and needs and hold them with warm, compassionate presence.

When we connect with our body and simply “listen,” we are giving ourselves attention, which is the most powerful form of self empathy and self love. We don’t have to fix anything, change anything or do anything. Simply feel our body and allow whatever sensation is there to be there. For more detailed information about his actual self empathy process, check out Marshall Rosenberg’s book, “Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life”.

Your body has the answers

You can begin a self empathy practice just by listening to your body. Your body is your best indicator of when you begin to enter into an activated state. Most of us push these feelings aside and distract ourselves, pour a glass of wine, work out, check our phones, and so on. 

But all distractions do is delay the anxious or stressful feelings until later … and they ALWAYS come back. 

Incorporating mini practices into your day that help you sense and feel your body will not only grow your body awareness skill, but help you feel calmer and more grounded by helping you to regulate your nervous system. These small moments of attending to yourself are self empathy and they make a difference. To learn more about how self care practices are the first step to practicing self empathy as well as regulating your nervous system, read this article called “What is self care. How to prioritize your wellbeing in daily life.”

---

Try this audio lesson that is designed to calm your mind and relax your entire body in 15 minutes. As you observe your body relax and your muscles spread out onto the floor, and your breathing calm down, pay attention to the sense of calmness you feel inside as well. 

Use This 5 Minute Self Care Practice to Ground Yourself

Havening Technique® is a psychosensory technique that calms the nervous system and help you feel grounded, calm and peaceful. 

For a detailed explanation of Havening Technique®, and a list of conditions and benefits it helps with, please link to “Here's the Technique You Need to Calm Your Mind and Transform Your Emotional State” blog post.

Havening® is a technique facilitated by a certified practitioner, and can also be practiced at home as a self care practice to build resilience and soothe your nervous system. To learn more about self care practices, click here.

By slowly rubbing your hands together while either distracting yourself (I’ll explain this below) or imagining yourself in a peaceful setting, Delta waves, the slowest brain waves, are created. These Delta waves release oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin and GABA, the “happiness hormones,” and actually soothe and calm you emotionally, mentally and physically, in just 5-7 minutes.

Please note: if the feelings you’re experiencing are intense (above 3 on a scale of 1-10, 10 being highly triggered), I recommend you check with a qualified psychotherapist before trying this method or find a certified Havening Technique® practitioner, like myself, to assist you.

Time investment

5-7 minutes

Do this when

• You feel stressed, anxious, overwhelmed, sad, grief, angry, need support

• You want to expand and embody the feeling of calm, peace and love within yourself

• You’d like to try Havening® as part of your regular self care practice

Benefits

• Release of “happy hormones” (oxytocin, seratonin, dopamine and GABA) to calm and soothe

• Regulate your nervous system (To learn more about your nervous system, click here.)

• Feel more embodied

• Sense of well-being

To set up you’ll need

A private space with a comfortable place to sit. Optional: a pillow on which you can rest your elbows.

Instructions

1. Begin to rub the palms of your hands together slowly, as if you were gently washing your hands

2. Breathe freely and naturally

3. If you’re feeling any distress (worried, sad, angry, fearful, etc.), begin to distract yourself as follows:

   • Count backwards slowly from 30-0 by 3s

   • Hum “Row Row Row Your Boat” 3X

   • Spell your first and last name backwards

   • List zoo animals for each letter of the alphabet. (Note: skip any letters if you can’t think of an animal. The answer isn’t important; you are engaging your brain in a certain way.)

   • Imagine yourself in your favorite place in nature. Based on what makes sense, observe what you see, hear, smell, feel, taste. (For example, imagine the sun on your face, the feeling of your feet in the sand, or the sounds of the waves lapping on the shore, the smell of seaweed.)

4. If you have trouble holding the visual image of yourself in nature, or find yourself feeling any emotional distress, then go back to steps #1-3.

5. Continue to haven continuously through all 4 steps. When you feel a sense of peace and calm, say the words out loud: “I am peace.” (or fill in the blank with a word that fits any good feeling you are able to authentically feel now).

---

Note: if you’d like to have a deeper experience of Havening, or would like to learn more, please contact me for a private session.

Transform Your Mind and Mood: How Gratitude Rewires Your Brain for Happiness

Doing a gratitude practice regularly not only shifts your mood, but it actually changes the neural pathways in your brain.

At first, and especially if you’re new to this sort of thing, you may find you have resistance to this. You might think “how can this even work?” Or you might feel it’s too new age or woo woo — not practical or action-based. 

I thought this too, when I first heard Oprah talk about it many years ago. “How can I feel grateful for things when so much needs improvement?” I thought.  

But what I know now is that the practice of gratitude, or learning to see all the small things that are actually working well in life, is actually a practice that not only shifts my mood to feeling calm and peaceful, but I’ve begun to see almost effortless expansion in many areas of my own life. 

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying “What you focus on grows.” Well this is putting that Universal law into practice. When we start to see what’s going well and put our focused attention on those places, regardless of how small or seemingly trivial these areas are, we’re priming our brain to look for the good in all areas.

Don’t get me wrong — some days, trying to come up with anything that I can feel gratitude for can feel hard. It’s on these days that I go to little things, like “my spicy chai latte from Meraki Cafe was so good,” or to a memory with my kids when they were little at Sandy Point beach in Massachusetts. Your brain doesn’t know if you’re being grateful for something big like winning $100K or a happy memory from the past. In fact, your neural circuitry sees it all as the same thing.

THREE practices

If you’d like to ease into this practice before you commit a large amount of time, I’ve included two different practices — one is a mini practice that you can do throughout the day if you like. The other is a longer morning or evening practice.

Do this when

• You want to shift your mood or raise your vibration

• You want to add a self care practice into your life

• You want to attract more love, abundance and peace into your life

• You feel fearful, worried or anxious about the future

• You want to regulate your nervous system (For some background information about your nervous system, click here.)

Benefits

• You’ll feel more peaceful and expanded

• You’ll have a clear experience—both emotionally and physically— that you’re being supported

• It brings you into the present moment (and out of the future or past)

• You’ll physically change the “worry and anxiety” neural pathways in your brain to “trusting, loving and calm.” The longer you write and bask in the feelings of gratitude, you reinforce these neural pathways. You actually train your brain to look for good vs. what’s “wrong” and stressful.

Practice #1 (short and sweet)

Write down 3 things that happened in the past hour or two (or write a memory from the past) that you’re grateful for. It can be as simple as “My coffee was good,” or “I love how the sun felt on my face when I walked outside.” 

You can set your phone alarm throughout the day to keep bringing your mind back to noticing or searching for “the good.” Practicing in this way begins to change the neural pathways and reinforce them.

Practice #2 (longer, possibly morning or evening)

Journal for 10-20 minutes about 3-5 things you’re grateful for. Allow yourself to really FEEL the gratitude and and linger in the feeling. ABSORB the feeling. The longer you can remain in the “felt sense” of gratitude, even if you’re thinking about something or someone from many years ago, the more neural pathways you’re creating and practicing/reinforcing.

As with any practice, the more consistently you practice, the more “results” you’ll notice. Doing a practice every day for 3-5 minutes is more valuable than doing a practice for 60 minutes 1X/week. Make this easy for yourself and enjoy!

Practice #3 (this can take as long or short as you like)

This is from a method called HeartMath®. There are 3 steps. You can do all three steps to make it a gratitude practice or only do steps 1 and 2 to bring parasympathetic coherence (rest and digest) throughout your entire body and nervous system.

Step 1: Focus your attention on the area of your heart. This can be on your anatomical heart or the general space in your chest where your heart resides, or any image of your heart.

Step 2: Begin to breathe in and out of your heart space. You just imagine your breath flowing in and out of your heart or heart space as you breathe.

You can stay with this or turn this into a gratitude practice with Step 3….

Step 3: Allow your imagination to call forth an image or memory of a time when you felt gratitude for something in your life. Connect to that feeling and then bring it into your heart space as you continue to breathe in and out of your heart.

After practicing any of these options, always take a moment at the end to feel yourself — your body, how you feel emotionally, and observe the state of your nervous system. Do you feel calmer, more relaxed, more grounded, safer, more neutral? Just observe yourself without needing it to be any special way.

To learn more about what “self care” means and how these or other simple, short practices can be part of your personalized self care routine, click here.

---

For a simple and effective self care practice, try this FREE audio recording that is designed to calm your mind and relax your entire body. Notice if you feel the muscles of your back body melt into the floor or bed as you practice these easy hand movements. 

Find Calm in 3 Minutes: Master This Breathwork Practice for Instant Stress Relief

In 3 minutes you can shift your mood from stressed or anxious to calm and grounded. (Learn more about the physical symptoms of stress and anxiety here.)

In light of ongoing uncertainty, everyone should have this quick practice in their stress relief medicine cabinet these days! 

This can be done in moments when you feel anxious, fearful, overwhelmed, alone or isolated. But I also recommend practicing this when you feel good! 

Practicing when you’re NOT triggered or stressed helps to train your nervous system to down regulate more quickly. You essentially train your nervous system to learn to let go and respond in the way you want vs. always reacting to stress when it blindsides you.

So, when you practice at times when you feel neutral or good, this practice becomes even more effective at times when you feel triggered and really need to calm and sooth yourself quickly.

One option is to set your phone alarm throughout the day, based on your schedule. If your schedule allow, you can set your alarm for each hour. Or you can wait until you’re at home and set your alarm, if this is more realistic. There’s really no right or wrong way to do this.

The idea is to create new neural pathways so that when you feel anxiety, fear, worry, anger or any of your usual “triggers” arise, you can catch yourself, acknowledge the feeling and begin the heart breath practice to calm yourself. (To learn more about how to integrate self care practices into your life, click here.)

Heart Breath

Time investment: 3 minutes.

Set up

• You can be seated, lying down or standing.

• If you’re outside, if you’re outside, stand with your feel on the ground and imagine roots from your feet extending deep into the earth

Do this when

• You feel anxious

• You feel fearful

• You’re overwhelmed

• You feel abandoned emotionally

Benefits

• Regulates heartrate and breathing

• Uses the vagus nerve to bring a parasympathetic state of coherence throughout your body

• Calms nervous system

• Builds self trust

• Gives you sense of peace

• Gives you sense of safety

Practice

1. Place both hands over your heart.

2. Focus your attention on the area of your heart.

3. Begin to breathe in and out of your heart space.

4. Optional: allow a memory or imagined moment of something that brings you a sense of peace, calm, appreciation, gratitude, or some other regenerative feeling and bring that feeling into your heart as you continue to breathe in and out of your heart.

---

For a simple and effective self care practice, try this FREE audio recording that is designed to calm your mind and relax your entire body. Notice if you feel the muscles of your back body melt into the floor or bed as you practice these easy hand movements. 

What Is Self Care? How to Prioritize Your Wellbeing in Daily Life

Chances are, you’re already including some self care practices in your daily or weekly schedule, so you can stop panicking or feeling like there’s one more thing you’re not doing!

First off, let me say that “Self Care” means a different thing to each person. There is no right or wrong.

For some people, a spa day definitely falls in the self care category. 

For me, self care does not mean self indulgence or pampering oneself.  I’m concerned with more holistic and consistent, self nurturing practices that support me in my day-to-day life. A pedicure is something I do to maintain my appearance. But I personally don’t consider it “self care.”

To me, self care means taking care of myself so that I can function in my life more peacefully and efficiently — so that I can take care of others as needed and do all the things I need and want to accomplish in daily life. To me, self care is a way to keep my own “gas tank” full (or at least not hovering on empty) while living in a stressful world.

With all that’s happening, especially in the past several years, taking care of yourself is more important now than ever before. We are generally more anxious, stressed, lonely, depressed and unhealthy.

So self care is simply part of the answer of how we can cope better with daily life and all the stress that comes with it. If that includes a pedicure or spa visit, then do it! If it includes a daily run or going to Pilates or a cup of coffee on the porch to start your day, great!

Intention and consistency

Self care can come in many shapes and sizes, and the length of time you spend on it is not as critical as the consistency and intention you have for doing a particular practice or activity. 

What is important, however, is to include whatever practices resonate with you on a regular basis— a little bit every day if possible.

For example, practicing 5-10 minutes of yoga at home is more beneficial than a 60 minute class once each week. And a 60 minute class once/week is more beneficial than a 3-day workshop once/year. 

When practiced regularly, self care practices can help boost your immune system, reduce your stress, increase strength and/or productivity, and increase your self esteem. 

Self care is taking time in your day to practice self love and making yourself a priority and this is not selfish — this is critical.

Self Love

Self love is another current-day phrase I’ve struggled to understand. What is self love actually and how does one practice it?

What I’ve found, is that by actually prioritizing time each day — no matter how short — to practice self care, you’re actually practicing “loving yourself.”

Love is simply focused attention!

The benefit I’ve noticed is that I tend to take better care of myself naturally. I consider my own needs or how I feel physically or emotionally more often and am beginning to take care of myself the same way I took care of my 3 children when they were young.

Self care can include eating healthy food, seeking medical care rather than ignoring symptoms, scheduling regular movement classes or bodywork, taking time out of the day to ground and/or breathe or meditate, flossing or washing your face each night, setting aside time to read spiritual literature or fiction or draw, journal, garden, walk in nature, go to a museum — whatever intentional act feeds your soul. 

Is fitness self care?

For some, self care is working out or regular fitness. Again, if done with intention, this can be amazing. When I was younger, I practiced hot sweaty vigorous yoga 6 days/week. Now, 15 years later, although I’ve tried to keep up my old pace, 3-4 days/week of more gentle vinyasa yoga or Pilates seems to give me the energy and movement I love, but it doesn’t exhaust me.

So allow your fitness routine to support you as you are today, not be an added pressure or stress. Allow it to nourish your body, mind and spirit and give you energy, not deplete it.

Self care can also be setting boundaries. For example, the quality of my work as a Feldenkrais practitioner and massage therapist depends on my own sense of groundedness and feeling at ease in my own body physically and mentally. So self care for me includes not exposing myself to constant mainstream news sources, but finding news sources that are less agitating and more neutral, for example.

Self care is being intentional about what you put into your body or use on your skin. It can be about taking supplements and herbs and also consciously deciding whether that second glass of wine really make you feel better or will you wake up tomorrow feeling slower that you’d like. It’s less about denying yourself something and more about making conscious choices to care for yourself.

What one person considers self care is not necessarily what another will embrace. But generally, self care is something we do to maintain positive well-being.

Internal vs external

For me, the question is: am I doing this because I want to practice loving or nurturing myself and I know this is good for my. body, mind, nervous system or spirit? Or am I doing this because I can’t accept myself the way I am now and want desperately to be thinner/fitter/have less flaws, etc.?

There’s no judgement or wrong answer. The first step is always to shine that light of consciousness on yourself — observe what you’re doing and what you would like to accomplish with your daily or weekly practices. 

To learn my favorite go-to self care practice that will relax all the muscles on your entire back body as well as leave you feeling calm and grounded, click here.

For more ideas about how to integrate self care into your life, read this article. “At-home Self-care Ideas: Simple Tips for Busy Lives.”

---

For a simple and effective self care practice, try this FREE audio recording. You can try it before bed and plan to sleep soundly and deeply. With these simple, easy hand movements, notice if you feel your entire body let go of mental and physical stress effortlessly!

8 Surprising Benefits from This One Easy Restorative Yoga Pose

One of my favorite restorative yoga poses is Supported Child’s Pose!

This restorative pose allows you to stay in it for a bit longer than the version without props, and provides all the amazing benefits of the more athletic version without any discomfort.

Some benefits of Child’s Pose:

• Gentle stretching of the hips, thighs, and ankles

• Stress and anxiety relief

• Relieves fatigue

• Regulates the nervous system (To learn more about your nervous system in general, click here.)

• Improves mental focus

• Supports the belly, heart and head

• Relieves back pain

• Relaxes the muscles onn the front of the body

• Passively and gently stretches the muscles on the back of the body

To get into this pose, follow these steps:

1. Set up your bolster or stack of blankets on the floor in front of you.

2. Come onto your knees with your big toes together and knees wide apart behind your bolster.

3. Straddle your bolster. If this isn’t comfortable on your knees, you can place another blanket or rolled towel in the crease between your calves and thighs. If this is uncomfortable on your ankles, place a rolled towel underneath your ankles so that your feet drape over the towel.

4. Drape you torso over the bolster and rest your head on one side. The pose should start out completely comfortable so make sure you tuck a towel underneath the side of your head or face if you feel any tension in your neck.

5. If your shoulders and hips are not in the same plane, add another folded blanket on top of the bolster to add height.

6. Rest your elbows on the floor. If they don’t rest comfortably, place additional towels or pillows underneath your arms and hands.

7. Rest in supported Child’s pose for 2-3 minutes and then turn your head to face in the other direction for another 2-3 minutes.

8. Before you come out of the pose completely, rest your forehead on the bolster in neutral position for a few moments.

Enjoy this pose whenever you feel stressed or need to rest your back. 

And while you’re here, grab your FREE “Calm your Stress” audio recording of a gentle exercise to do right before bed so that you fall asleep easily!

Here's How to Up Your Self Care Game with This Simple Pose

Are you feeling tight in your legs, hips or back? Do you feet hurt?

Maybe you pushed a bit too hard on that run or sat at your desk longer than usual. 

In any case, if you’re feeling tight and achy in your legs, seat or back, here’s a simple and classic yoga pose called Viparita Karani (or “Legs up the wall”) to restore your body in 20 minutes.

To learn more about what “self care” really means, and how to tailor some practices for your own life based on what is truly meaningful for you, click here to read “What Is Self Care? How to Prioritize Your Wellbeing in Daily Life.”

To get into this pose, follow these steps:

1. Sit with your right side against the wall, with bent knees and your feet drawn in toward your hips.

2. Swing your legs up against the wall as you turn your torso to lie flat on your back.

3. Place your hips against the wall or slightly away. If your hamstrings are a bit tighter, move away from the wall and allow your knees to bend. You can place a pillow between your knees and the wall so your knees don’t hyperextend.

4. Place your arms in any comfortable position. (They can be on your belly, or one hand on your heart and one hand on your belly. Or both arms can be on the floor.)

5. You can use an eye pillow if you like.

6. Now here's the difficult part: just lie there — maybe listen to music or a podcast — but stay there for at least 15-20 minutes to allow gravity to work and allow your muscles and joints to relax.

7. To release the pose, gently push yourself away from the wall.

8. Relax on your back for a few moments.

9. Draw your knees into your chest and roll onto your right side. Rest for a few moments before slowly moving into an upright position.

Some benefits of the Legs-Up-the-Wall are to:

• relax your mind

• regulate your nervous system

• relieve leg and feet cramps

• improve circulation

• promote lymph flow

• manage varicose veins

• relieve headaches or migraines

• increase energy

As with any yoga pose, there may be some contraindications. Check with your health care provider if you have hypertension, glaucoma or hernias. You may want to avoid inversions if you are on your menstrual cycle.

And that's it! Do this a few times a week to allow your body to rest and recover. If you’re traveling and doing a lot of walking, do this when you return back to your Airbnb or hotel room, before going out for dinner!

For added relaxation, grab your FREE “Calm your Stress” audio recording here!

How to Harness the Power of Food to Regulate Your Nervous System

What you eat makes a difference in your mood. 

If you’re stressed or anxious, then it’s even more critical to nourish yourself in a healthy way as part of your regular self care practice. But unfortunately, many of us use our chronic stress as an excuse to overindulge in foods we know are bad for us.

Holistic chef and food for life coach, Cheryl Rojic is an expert in creating individualized healthy eating plans to lower stress and improve immune function. 

Some foods Cheryl highly suggests avoiding food with the following, especially if you’re experiencing chronic long term stress:

• Highly processed foods,

• Foods loaded with sugar,

• Artificial flavors and colors

• Non-food substances or chemicals

She says that these choices are linked to poor gut health, which plays a critical role of the healthy functioning of the nervous system. The gut strongly influences the functioning of the brain and how we handle stress, both physically and mentally.

“Let’s use sugar for an example,” says Rojic. “Many of us indulge in sugary processed carbohydrates in times of stress – a candy bar, baked goods, alcohol. High levels of cortisol, the stress hormone, usually result in an amino acid deficiency which in turn causes those cravings for sugary, as well as fatty, foods. 

“To further the negative affects of cortisol, it leads to the body creating new fat cells, enlarges fat cells, and even increases how much fatty tissue your body stores, especially belly fat. 

“This stubborn belly fat in turn releases cortisol – if someone is chronically stressed, it’s nearly non-stop. And this cortisol causes even more cravings for sugar and fat.”

Rojic suggests that choosing foods to support gut health and blood sugar will help to balance cortisol (the stress hormone) levels in the body. 

She recommends these foods that can help put an end to the rise in cortisol and control blood sugar spikes:

• Complex carbohydrates: sweet potatoes, quinoa, beans, nuts, oats and seeds. These “comfort foods” actually promote production of serotonin, the “happy hormone.”

• Foods rich in Vitamin C, such as red or orange bell peppers, strawberries and cauliflower.

• Dark leafy greens are loaded with protein, calcium and magnesium, a mineral that promotes a relaxed state. Folate, in those leafy greens, as well as in asparagus, is essential for a calm feeling. 

• Berries are rich in phytonutrients and antioxidants that fight free radicals and help to balance mood. Even one square of high quality, pure dark chocolate (72% cacao or higher), reduces cortisol and increases serotonin.

In conclusion, the connection between food and stress and anxiety is a vicious cycle. We tend to eat the worst when we’re chronically stressed, but what we eat is essential to managing our stress, lowering stress hormones, and regulating blood sugar. 

Cheryl Rojic is a holistic chef and food for life coach, serving up inspiration to change the way we nourish body, mind and heart. From simmer to boil, she will help sift out and render key ingredients to create a recipe for better health. As a thriving two-time cancer survivor, Cheryl has been dishing up plant-strong deliciousness with classes and gatherings for nearly 20 years.

---

Try this free audio recording to calm your nervous system quickly and gently.

3 Ways to Regulate Your Nervous System When You're Stressed

It can take less than 20 minutes to feel calmer, have more relaxed muscles, breathe more freely, have a calmer mind, feel at peace, and feel more balanced emotionally.

Three of the most effective ways to come back into a parasympathetic (rest and digest) state involve your hands, your mouth and your breathing.

Your mouth, tongue, and jaw take up 35% of real estate in the sensory part of your brain and your hands take up another 35%. (It’s surprising to learn that the entire rest of your body only takes up the remaining 30%!) This means that these areas have the most influence over your mood and sense of well-being.

So it makes sense to work with one or both of the areas of your body that are the most sensitive, or available to sensing, in order to make the biggest improvements to calm you down, in the quickest and most efficient way.

Below are 3 self care practices for you to try. See if one of these helps you feel grounded, calmer, more physically relaxed, and able to breathe more naturally and freely. To learn more about what constitutes a “self care practice,” click here.

1. Natural Breathing

Many people recommend breathing deeply when there’s stress, to calm your nervous system and send the message to your brain and body that all is well, but I recommend natural, easy breathing. 

If you think about it, deep breathing is what we do when there’s a big task to accomplish or when we have to prepare for action or have to exert ourselves. But natural, relaxed, easy breathing signals the body and brain that all is well.

Practice: 

Lie on your back either on the floor or on your bed, and get comfortable. You can bend your knees and stand your feet or put a bolster underneath your knees. 

• Rather than having your head on a pillow, see if you can rest your head on a folded flat towel or folded yoga blanket so that your forehead and chin are on the same horizontal plane, and your throat is open (rather than your throat closed and your chin tilted lower than your forehead).

• Relax your tongue and your jaw.

• Follow your breathing. Notice if you’re breathing at all or if your breath is shallow. Simply follow your breathing. Don’t worry if your breath is shallow or uneven or if there are long gaps between each breath. Simply allow your body to inhale and exhale at its own pace.

Your brain knows how much oxygen your body needs at any given time. You’ll find that your breathing isn’t always even. It varies. Sometimes you may need more breath and sometimes it will be shallow. Sometimes you’ll notice a big space between breaths and sometimes your breath will quicken. 

At first it will feel difficult and you’ll be tempted to control your inhales and exhales or do a pranayama breathing practice or yoga breathing that you’re already familiar with. But see if you can come back to your natural, uncontrolled breathing. You’re only observing — not forcing or making anything happen. 

2. Hand Movements

As I mentioned above, because your hands take up 35% of your sensory brain space, your hands are extremely effective in lowering stress generally throughout your body. 

Here’s a FREE audio recording for a short practice that uses your hands to calm your stress and relax your entire body. This is especially helpful if you have trouble falling asleep. 

Rolling your hands practice instructions:

Lie on your back either on the floor or on your bed, and have your legs long or bend your knees. You can also place a bolster under your knees — whatever you need to do to feel really comfortable. See #1 for recommendations regarding a pillow.

These movements are to be done very, very slowly, very small, only in the range that is completely comfortable (no stretching or straining or forcing), pause between each movement before doing the next, and rest as often as you like.

3. Mouth and Tongue Movements

As I mentioned earlier, your mouth, jaw and tongue also take up 35% of your sensory cortical space. Many people hold tension in their jaw, tongue, face and neck. This practice will not only help you release any unconsciously held tension in your mouth and jaw, but generally, throughout your entire body, as well. 

Here’s a link to another FREE audio recording called “Relieve your Jaw Pain” so that you’ll feel calmer, more relaxed, less stressed or anxious, and breathe more freely within 20 minutes.

In conclusion, these three, very efficient and effective ways to immediately relieve stress and regulate your nervous system involve observing your natural breathing, and sensing yourself as you make gentle, small, slow movements with your hands and mouth.

The above two audio recordings are from The Feldenkrais Method®, a somatic practice that helps people regulate their nervous system and let go of unconsciously held muscle tension patterns. To learn more about The Feldenkrais Method®, click here.

---

If you enjoyed these practices, and would like more information about online classes or working together, please email me.

Schedule a FREE 15 minute consultation here.

Your Guide to Self Care: How Often Should I Schedule Massage Therapy?

The question my clients most frequently as is “how often should I receive a massage?” There is not a one-size fits all answer, but here are some questions to ask yourself when deciding how often to schedule.

1. What are you coming in for?

Do you have an injury, frequent migraines, recovering from surgery, chronic muscle pain or tension, stress from work or are you pregnant or nursing? Or do you generally feel good and you just want to relax and restore?

If you’re dealing with chronic pain, I suggest considering The Feldenkrais Method® as a method that can work with chronic pain in a more permanent way. To learn more about Feldenkrais® and how it works with unconsciously held muscle tension , click here.

2. What makes sense for your schedule?

3. What do you want to budget for bodywork?

Do you consider massage therapy to be part of your health and wellness program or is it purely for relaxation? There is no wrong answer, but understanding the value of massage to you will help you feel clear about how often to receive the work.

Here’s a rule of thumb I suggest:

Once/month or every two months

Come once a month or every two months if you’re generally content with how you manage your mental and physical stress level, if you feel you’ve got physical muscle tension and/or pain under control, and you are coming for massage purely for relaxation.

Once/month

If you are generally managing well, but find yourself stressed with muscular tension a few weeks after your last massage, then schedule a monthly session. Are you a runner, cyclist, or have a regular work out or yoga practice? Do you use your body regularly and feel fairly “well-oiled,” but need a “reset” every once in awhile, then once/month is for you.

If you’re pregnant, then I recommend scheduling one 60-minute massage/month until around the 30th week, and then once every two weeks until you deliver. And remember to schedule your partner, who may be beginning to feel the pressure about this huge life transition as well!

More frequent and then taper off to once/month

More frequent sessions may be better for you at first if you have a demanding or stressful job or life, and this stress is manifesting as jaw, neck, shoulder, or back tension or pain; if you have migraines; if you’re recovering from an injury; if you’ve had chronic muscle pain for more than 3-6 months; if you have sciatica; and so on. If you are living with any kind of pain or discomfort, I suggest scheduling more frequent sessions for the first couple of months, and then taper them off to once/month.

If you’re in this category and are dealing with chronic pain, I suggest considering a more lasting approach that works with the root cause of the issue. This method is called The Feldenkrais Method®. You can learn more about Feldenkrais® here.

The length of time it takes to train your tissue into a new pattern depends, of course, on several variables, including how long you’ve been suffering with the tension or pain, how frequently you are able to receive massage at first, whether you’re able to practice certain techniques at home, and whether adjustments can be made to influences that caused the patterns to begin with (for example, not slouching at your desk or finding the right size pillow for your neck at night). 

If this resonates with you, and you are interested in making significant changes in your body, then let’s have a discussion about partnering together and coming up with a plan that works for your schedule and budget to gently train your tissue into a new pattern and release existing tension so that your daily experience in your body is one of ease and mobility. Schedule a FREE 15-minute phone or video consultation or email me here.

Mastering Peace: A 10-Minute Breathing Exercise for Stress Relief

This simple 10 minute breathing exercise can be done from your office chair, your bed or the couch. It’s most helpful if you develop a routine time to practice each day to establish a habit. This breathing technique, called “4-part Breathing,” also known as “Box Breathing,” is helpful in calming stress and anxiety. It’s especially effective before bed and can help you sleep because it helps take your mind off those racing thoughts.

Technique:

1. Sit or lie down comfortably. Close your eyes.

2. Begin by inhaling through your nose and into your belly for a count of 4.

3. Hold the breath for a count of 4.

4. Exhale through your nose (or mouth if that feels more natural) for a count of 4.

5. Pause for a count of 4.

6. Repeat.

7. Don’t try too hard!

Why this helps:

The “fight or flight” response is what the body does when it prepares to confront or avoid danger, but problems arise when this response is constantly provoked by less significant events like money fears, traffic, job worries, relationship problems, and sitting on hold with AT&T, and so on. We can’t avoid all the stresses in our lives, but we can develop healthier ways to respond to them and one of these ways is to learn to invoke the “relaxation response,” and the first step to this is deep breathing. 

According to Harvard Health Publications, “Shallow breathing limits the diaphragm's range of motion. The lowest part of the lungs doesn't get a full share of oxygenated air. That can make you feel short of breath and anxious. Deep abdominal breathing encourages full oxygen exchange — that is, the beneficial trade of incoming oxygen for outgoing carbon dioxide. Not surprisingly, it can slow the heartbeat and lower or stabilize blood pressure.”

If you find this breathing practice activating or too fast, you can slow down your counts or hold each aspect of the breath for 6 counts.

To learn more nervous system regulating breathing practices, click here for “Calm your stress with these four powerful breathing techniques.”

Self care practices are critical for learning to regulate your nervous system, boosting your immune system, keeping your mind and body healthy, and finding relief from physical symptoms of anxiety and stress. To learn more about how to find your own, personalized self care practices that feel authentic to you, read “What Is Self Care? How to Prioritize Your Wellbeing in Daily Life.”

---

DID YOU ENJOY THIS POST?

You may also enjoy this FREE audio lesson to help relax your entire body and calm your nervous system.

Prenatal Massage: The Benefits of Massage Therapy During Pregnancy

Most women will agree that there’s nothing more relaxing and provides more relief during pregnancy than a prenatal massage. Besides the obvious relaxation benefits, there are many physiological, mental and emotional benefits as well.

During pregnancy, a woman’s body undergoes numerous changes in a short amount of time, which can sometimes cause pain or discomfort. Massage is a wonderful way to alleviate this discomfort, while promoting a sense of well-being.

At Restore with Awareness, we utilize a comfortable and secure side-lying position where the new mother is completely supported by pillows, keeping her top hip, knee and ankle on the same level to avoid pulling on the sacroiliac joint, and to maximize blood and lymph circulation. Gentle Swedish, deep tissue in the gluteal area, range of motion and gentle stretching, abdominal massage (after the first trimester), acupressure, reflexology techniques, as well as craniosacral therapy are integrated into the treatment.

Some of the techniques we use include:

• Gentle range-of-motion and stretching movements to relieve pressure through neck, shoulders, rib cage, lower back and hips, and to promote greater strength flexibility and balance

• Integrated deep tissue work in the hip and gluteal area to help alleviate chronic lower back and hip pain and sciatic pain

• Abdominal massage for round ligament pain, to support digestion, increased circulation to the placenta and baby and increase awareness of the baby. The baby will feel and benefit from the massage

• Lymph drainage strokes to reduce pregnancy induced edema

• Craniosacral Therapy for physical/psychological/emotional/spiritual centering

• Acupressure and reflexology techniques shown to be effective in treating many common pregnancy related complaints

Besides relaxation, tension release and increased circulation, prenatal massage can help to improve digestion. It helps reduce swelling and it can alleviate the stress on weight-bearing joints, like the knees, which are impacted by the extra weight of a growing baby. There are also studies that have been done that indicate that regular and routine massages may lead to a decreased labor time. 

Some other benefits of Prenatal massage include:

• Helps the new mother prioritize a self care practice, which will benefit both mom and baby both during the pregnancy after the birth

• Helps control blood pressure

• Strengthens the immune system

• Directly affects the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system, reducing stress and its consequences for mother and baby

• Helps mother and baby bond through relaxation and breathing

• Alleviates anxiety and depression

• Strengthens muscles in preparation for labor and delivery

• Allows for deeper breathing and a better night's sleep

• Helps keep skin supple to help prevent stretch marks

• Maintains body posture and balance

• Enhances self image

• Reduces postpartum depression

*As with all treatments during pregnancy, we recommend that each new mother checks with her health care provider before receiving massage, especially in the first trimester, or if her pregnancy is considered “high risk.”

---

DID YOU ENJOY THIS POST?

Make sure you sign up for our newsletter below to get other tips sent to your inbox.

How to Relax Your Back and Relieve Stress with Blanket Roll Practice

This is a daily practice to help release all the muscles along your spine, as well as your head and neck, pelvis and legs. It balances working out, sitting at a desk for hours, standing, being stressed and holding tension in neck, shoulders, and lower back.

If you suffer from chronic pain that includes back, neck, shoulders, jaw, pelvis… this simple self care practice is designed to help you! To learn more about how to personalize your own self care practice, click here.

During this practice, I recommend that you give your arms, hands and eyes a rest from scrolling on your phone. Listen to your favorite relaxing podcast or music, or simply clear your mind. Use the time to relax.

Try it each evening for 15 minutes for 3 weeks and see what you notice. You can use this during the day to restore yourself or at home before bed.

1. Roll a dense blanket up so that it is the length of your head/torso and lay it on the floor perpendicular to a chair or couch. Make certain your entire head and pelvis fit on the roll. (The roll does not have to be large. It is simply a reference point for your spine. Do NOT use a foam roller. A yoga blanket is perfect.)

2. Place two bed pillows on the floor close to blanket roll for your arms and shoulders.

3. Lie down on the roll so that your head and tailbone are on the roll. Rest your lower legs (calves) on the couch or a chair. (Your knees should be at a 90 degree angle, parallel to the sofa; your feet are neither lower or higher than your knees.)

4. Rest your shoulders and arms on the pillows. Push the pillows close to your spine/the blanket roll so that your shoulders are fully supported.

5. Optional: place a small rolled up wash cloth underneath your neck (not as a pillow, but as a support for your cervical spine only). The towel roll should “kiss” your neck, not lift it— simply touch it so that your neck muscles can relax and feel supported.

6. Imagine that all the muscles of your entire back body are "draped" over the blanket roll.

7. When you are ready to come out of this resting pose, roll to the side and remove the blanket roll, then lie flat for a few minutes on the floor and notice the how your back feels on the floor. Do you feel flatter? Wider? Does your back feel as if it’s “spreading” onto the floor?

This is the feeling of relaxed muscles that are not in contraction.

The more you practice this, you will prime your brain. And the more quickly your muscles will release.

If you suffer from chronic pain in your neck, jaw, shoulders, back or hips, this article about how a somatic therapeutic method called The Feldenkrais Mathod® is designed to improve chronic pain symptoms.

Enjoy!

Enjoy this FREE audio recording to help you relax even further. You can do this lesson in bed before you fall asleep.

How to Soothe Aching Feet at Home in 5 Minutes

Do your feet need some loving care? This is a quick and easy tip for walkers, runners or anyone who has tired, achy feet! 

Firstly, have the attitude of “less is more!”

When you force or do this in a way that it causes pain, your tissue will contract as a protection response. So go slowly and gently and trust that your tissue will respond when your nervous system feels safe.

Racket ball acupressure:

1. Get a racket ball (not a golf ball, tennis ball or lacrosse ball). A racket ball is the perfect size and has just the right amount of “give” for this practice. (Golf balls are too hard.)
   

2. Imagine there are 3 vertical lines from the ball of your foot to your heel: inside (from big toe), middle, and outside (from pinky toe).
   

3. Hold onto something to support yourself (wall, chair back or counter), stabilize yourself with your standing leg, and place the ball on floor under one foot.
   

4. Begin to GENTLY press into the ball, gradually giving your weight to the ball. Do this “to tolerance.” There is no value to pressing harder and feeling pain. Slowly move the ball down the imaginary line towards your heel (about 1/4 inch) and press again. Keep doing this, pausing to breathe during each press.

   Note: this is a “pressing” movement, not a “rolling” movement. There is nothing generally wrong with “rolling,” but this is different from acupressure, which is what we’re doing here.
   

5. You will find some sensitive spots* along the way. When you reach your heel, move up the next line, pausing to press and breathe, and so on.
   

6. When you complete both feet, take a moment to notice any difference. People often report their feet feel “wider”, “more alive”, “more flexible,” their legs feel more energized, and their calves feel looser.

Do this on each foot once or twice each day. It takes approximately 5 minutes. Rather than multitasking, see if you can pay attention to what sensations you’re feeling as you tune in to your body.

If you found this helpful, then perhaps you can make it a part of your own self care practice. To learn more about what “self care” actually means, and how you can personalize your own self care practices to feel appropriate for you, read this article, “What Is Self Care? How to Prioritize Your Wellbeing in Daily Life

*If you have plantar fasciitis, do not press into the area that is inflamed -- instead work around the painful areas to loosen the fascia of the entire rest of the foot. (And, of course, contact me for some therapeutic advice!)

---

DID YOU ENJOY THIS POST?

Make sure you sign up for our newsletter below to get other tips sent to your inbox and get a FREE audio recording!

How to Choose the Best Massage Style for You

I offer three types of massages: Therapeutic, Table Thai and Prenatal. Prenatal massage speaks for itself, but here are descriptions, guidelines and benefits to help you decide whether to schedule a Therapeutic or Table Thai session.

Therapeutic Massage

Description:

• Done on a massage table.

• Tailored to each client’s specific needs.

• Combination of different styles and techniques (including some Thai stretches, muscle compression, Swedish (what most people think of as a traditional massage), myofascial (working with the fascia), trigger point therapy, range of motion (movement), reflexology, and craniosacral therapy.

Book this style if: 

• you have specific issues you’d like me to work with therapeutically -- for example: lower back, neck, or shoulder discomfort, “knots”

• you just want to get on the table and relax and restore

• you can’t go wrong with this option!

Benefits: 

People report feeling rejuvenated, restored, relaxed, looser, and relieved significantly of discomfort.

Table Thai Massage

Description:  

• Done on a treatment table.

• You wear either yoga clothes or something stretchy or loose.

• This method incorporates compression of your muscles and stretching your limbs and joints Thai massage is often referred as “Lazy man’s yoga!”

Book this style if:

• You have a few knots here and there, but generally want to feel looser and relaxed.

• You have tight legs, tight hips, tight back

• You work out a lot, don’t work out at all, sit at a desk all day, or are simply curious about it!

Benefits: 

People report feeling completely relaxed and restored, and much looser than when they came in.

The Feldenkrais Method®

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that, for those who have chronic pain such as jaw, neck, shoulders, back or pelvic/hip pain, you may be best served by receiving a bodywork method called The Feldenkrais Method®. This is a somatic method that works with the wisdom of the nervous system. It works with the root of the chronic condition and the results are more permanent than a massage, whose benefits only lasts for a few days at most. To learn more about how The Feldenkrais Method® works, click here.

Whichever bodywork modality you decide is right for you, your self care routine will reduce your stress, increase your strength and productivity, increase your self esteem and boost your immunity. To read more about how to identify the best self care practices and routine for you, click here.

When practiced regularly, self care practices can help boost your immune system, reduce your stress, increase strength and/or productivity, and increase your self esteem. 

Schedule a FREE 15-minute consultation and we can discuss which treatment is best for your specific needs and goals. 

---

DID YOU ENJOY THIS POST?

Make sure you sign up for our newsletter below to get other tips sent to your inbox.

My Top 9 Tips to Make the Most of Your Massage

The most important thing to remember about receiving a massage is that this time is your time -- time carved out of your busy day for you.

People often worry about basic things like how much of their clothing to remove, or what happens if they get thirsty during a session. Here are some quick answers to the most basic questions that so many people want to know:

1. Clothing

If you’re having a therapeutic massage, your therapist will likely instruct you to remove your clothing to the “degree that you feel comfortable.” This means you get to decide what you leave on and what you take off and the therapist will work around whatever you decide. If you are more comfortable leaving on your panties or briefs, then do so. Having said this, it makes sense to give the therapist access to the areas you want her to work on. For example, if you want a back massage, take off your shirt. If you have sore hamstrings, give your therapist access. The therapist will either leave the room or provide you with privacy while you undress and dress afterwards. She will maintain your modesty at all times during the massage with draping, and only uncover the part of the body she is working on. The bottom line is: this is your time and you get to choose.

For a Thai Table massage, you will be fully clothed in loose, comfortable or stretchy clothing. To learn more about the different styles of massage and other bodywork offered at Restore with Awareness, click here.

2. Eating

The best rule of thumb around eating is basically the same as when you work out or take a yoga class: allow your body enough time to digest. I recommend you have your last meal or snack approx. 2 hours prior to your massage, if possible.

3. Talking

This is your hour to use as you like. It’s up to you if you’d like to talk to the therapist, but it’s not necessary. Feel free to close your eyes and relax, which is what most people do.

Be sure to speak up if the room is too hot or cold, you experience pain, you have any questions related to the massage, or there’s anything you forgot to mention during the consultation. Remember to give feedback for pressure, speed, or anything you like or dislike.

4. Water

We all know it’s always good to be well-hydrated, but if know you’re a bit behind in your water intake, ask your therapist for a glass of water before your massage. In addition, you can ask for water anytime during your massage. And of course, stay well-hydrated after your massage in order to assist your body in flushing out toxins that have been released during your massage.

5. Bathroom

It’s a good habit to use the bathroom before your massage. If you find you need to use it during your massage, rather than lay there feeling uncomfortable and tense, let your therapist know and she will give you privacy to wrap in a sheet to take a quick break. This is your time to take care of yourself -- there’s really no point in feeling uncomfortable.

6. Tissue

It is very common for people to drool when then fall asleep or their sinuses drain when they’re face-down on the table. If you need a tissue, don’t hesitate to ask your therapist.

7. Breathing

It’s important to breathe normally during the massage. Breathing helps facilitate relaxation. People often stop or limit their breathing when they feel anxious or a sensitive area is massaged.

8. Tipping

The rule of thumb is if you are receiving a massage in a spa or hotel, a 20% gratuity is standard. In a medical or clinical setting, it is not expected, but appreciated. In a home practice, it is your decision. You can always show your appreciation by referring friends, family and co-workers to your therapist or by providing a Yelp or Google review.

9. Frequency

Be prepared to schedule several massage sessions. Massage has its greatest benefits over time. The therapeutic effects of massage are cumulative, so the more often you get a massage, the better you will feel and the more quickly your body will respond. From one session to the next, relaxation deepens as the chronic patterns of stress in the body are affected and released. If you’re getting massage to address chronic muscular tension or recovery from a soft tissue injury, more than one session is usually needed. If you’re still unsure how often to get bodywork, consult with your therapist. To learn more about how to decide on the frequency of your massages based on your physical concerns and lifestyle, click here.

---

DID YOU ENJOY THIS POST?

Make sure you sign up for our newsletter below to get other tips sent to your inbox.