Chances are, you’re already including some self care practices in your daily or weekly schedule, so you can stop panicking or feeling like there’s one more thing you’re not doing!
First off, let me say that “Self Care” means a different thing to each person. There is no right or wrong.
For some people, a spa day definitely falls in the self care category.
For me, self care does not mean self indulgence or pampering oneself. I’m concerned with more holistic and consistent, self nurturing practices that support me in my day-to-day life. A pedicure is something I do to maintain my appearance. But I personally don’t consider it “self care.”
To me, self care means taking care of myself so that I can function in my life more peacefully and efficiently — so that I can take care of others as needed and do all the things I need and want to accomplish in daily life. To me, self care is a way to keep my own “gas tank” full (or at least not hovering on empty) while living in a stressful world.
With all that’s happening, especially in the past several years, taking care of yourself is more important now than ever before. We are generally more anxious, stressed, lonely, depressed and unhealthy.
So self care is simply part of the answer of how we can cope better with daily life and all the stress that comes with it. If that includes a pedicure or spa visit, then do it! If it includes a daily run or going to Pilates or a cup of coffee on the porch to start your day, great!
Intention and consistency
Self care can come in many shapes and sizes, and the length of time you spend on it is not as critical as the consistency and intention you have for doing a particular practice or activity.
What is important, however, is to include whatever practices resonate with you on a regular basis— a little bit every day if possible.
For example, practicing 5-10 minutes of yoga at home is more beneficial than a 60 minute class once each week. And a 60 minute class once/week is more beneficial than a 3-day workshop once/year.
When practiced regularly, self care practices can help boost your immune system, reduce your stress, increase strength and/or productivity, and increase your self esteem.
Self care is taking time in your day to practice self love and making yourself a priority and this is not selfish — this is critical.
Self Love
Self love is another current-day phrase I’ve struggled to understand. What is self love actually and how does one practice it?
What I’ve found, is that by actually prioritizing time each day — no matter how short — to practice self care, you’re actually practicing “loving yourself.”
Love is simply focused attention!
The benefit I’ve noticed is that I tend to take better care of myself naturally. I consider my own needs or how I feel physically or emotionally more often and am beginning to take care of myself the same way I took care of my 3 children when they were young.
Self care can include eating healthy food, seeking medical care rather than ignoring symptoms, scheduling regular movement classes or bodywork, taking time out of the day to ground and/or breathe or meditate, flossing or washing your face each night, setting aside time to read spiritual literature or fiction or draw, journal, garden, walk in nature, go to a museum — whatever intentional act feeds your soul.
Is fitness self care?
For some, self care is working out or regular fitness. Again, if done with intention, this can be amazing. When I was younger, I practiced hot sweaty vigorous yoga 6 days/week. Now, 15 years later, although I’ve tried to keep up my old pace, 3-4 days/week of more gentle vinyasa yoga or Pilates seems to give me the energy and movement I love, but it doesn’t exhaust me.
So allow your fitness routine to support you as you are today, not be an added pressure or stress. Allow it to nourish your body, mind and spirit and give you energy, not deplete it.
Self care can also be setting boundaries. For example, the quality of my work as a Feldenkrais practitioner and massage therapist depends on my own sense of groundedness and feeling at ease in my own body physically and mentally. So self care for me includes not exposing myself to constant mainstream news sources, but finding news sources that are less agitating and more neutral, for example.
Self care is being intentional about what you put into your body or use on your skin. It can be about taking supplements and herbs and also consciously deciding whether that second glass of wine really make you feel better or will you wake up tomorrow feeling slower that you’d like. It’s less about denying yourself something and more about making conscious choices to care for yourself.
What one person considers self care is not necessarily what another will embrace. But generally, self care is something we do to maintain positive well-being.
Internal vs external
For me, the question is: am I doing this because I want to practice loving or nurturing myself and I know this is good for my. body, mind, nervous system or spirit? Or am I doing this because I can’t accept myself the way I am now and want desperately to be thinner/fitter/have less flaws, etc.?
There’s no judgement or wrong answer. The first step is always to shine that light of consciousness on yourself — observe what you’re doing and what you would like to accomplish with your daily or weekly practices.